When Minor Setbacks Become Major Obstacles

You have finally made an effort to lose weight, or go back to school or start looking for a new job or find a therapist.  Then the unexpected happens…  You hurt your foot.  Your spouse needs surgery.  Your babysitter quits.  Your student loan falls through.  The reasons to stop can go on and on.  Although these life incidents might have an impact on you and cause you to pause for a moment, maybe cause you to go off course for a little while, they should not completely derail you.

This is where your resilient self comes into play.  You know, the part of you that feels temporarily let down, but then picks up the pieces with more dedication to completing what was initially started.  Finding new ways to figure it out.  Asking people for their support, ideas and problem solving.

Resilient people pick up the pieces and keep moving forward.  Focusing on another way, like maybe Plan C or D.  (Or let’s be honest, it might even take Plan K to succeed.)

Folks who are not resilient will crumble and go off course indefinitely, often leaving behind broken dreams and half achieved goals along the way.  Like a broken down highway of potholes, discarded dolls, random single shoes and scattered litter.

It’s time to clean up your highway!


Put your effort into your resilient coping skills.  How much time do you devote to your well-being?  I don’t mean watching the television when the kids are out playing day after day.  I’m talking about truly developing yourself in a positive way.

Are you a better person now then last year?  What have you done?  Have you accomplished any personal goals, dedicated time to personal growth, taken new classes, read any inspiring books?

If not, what are you doing?  Facebook?  Bad TV? Hanging out with people who are immature, self-absorbed and ignorant?

Put time into getting yourself emotionally stronger.  Resilience is a skill set that must be worked on all the time.  How can you afford not to?  Life is full of unexpected twists and turns and you have to be ready to change directions but not lose sight of your commitments and your goals.

Invest in yourself.  Spending all day at the gym is just one small piece of self-care, you need to also focus on your mind.  What’s happening on the inside?  What issues might need to be resolved from childhood that continue to rear its head in the form of depression, fear and self-loathing.  Do the work.  Invite joy in.  Ask yourself:

  • What’s my purpose?
  • What do I love to do?
  • What feeds my soul?
  • When was the last time I tried something new?

Use that much needed quiet refection time to focus on your self-care skills.  Inner strength can set you free of the little annoying stuff that tempts you to stay still, to quit, to forget about your personal goals, to go backwards.  Work on it.  Put yourself first.  Your happiness is worth it.